The first sleepover is a milestone filled with excitement: television, snacks and the thrill of staying up past bedtime. But first-time sleepovers don’t always go as planned, with many teary-eyed children calling their parents at 2 a.m. asking to be picked up.
So how can you plan for the smoothest night of a first-time sleepover? How do you know your child is ready for this big step toward independence?
What Is the Correct Age for Your Child’s First Sleepover?
According to the Child Abuse Prevention Service, about 7 to 8 years old is the average age for a child’s first sleepover, yet no set age can determine when they are actually mentally prepared for their first night away from home.
Some children experience their first sleepover at ages 5 to 7, with parents discussing online that they allowed their child to go to a sleepover as soon as the child asked. However, some parents said they asked their child to wait until age 12, until high school or even until they moved out of the house for college.
How to Know if Your Child Is Ready
To know whether your kid is ready for this big step, consider factors such as their mindset, physical and mental well-being, maturity level and timing.
According to Children’s Wisconsin, though every child is different, one of the first signs of readiness is the ability to sleep through the night. This includes you not being able to tuck them in, your child getting into bed on their own and them falling asleep independently.
A discussion with your child is also necessary: Are they aware of what a sleepover entails? Are they comfortable sleeping in a different house, away from you? Are they nervous?
Therapists recommend finding out whether your kid can “assert themselves” in uncomfortable situations. Is your child able to speak up for themselves? Are they comfortable saying no? Can they ask for their own needs? This can help determine whether they will be able to sleep comfortably, ask their friends’ parents for assistance if needed and make their own decisions confidently.
Also, consider their independence levels. According to Sweet Dream Sleepovers, if your child can dress themselves and brush their own teeth at night and in the morning, this is a good indicator that they can handle themselves while away from you and home.
Tips for Making Your Child’s First Sleepover a Success
As you decide how to ease your child into a sleepover, or stress over whether it is the right decision, some strategies can help make the transition smoother, soothe your mind and your child’s and ensure their safety.
Therapists and child safety experts recommend allowing your child to only sleep over at a friend’s house whose parents you closely know.
Trust your gut — if you don’t feel comfortable with a certain family member, sibling or even friend, it is most likely best not to allow them to sleep over for the first time. If you know all the members of the household well, you will feel more comfortable sleeping at night knowing your child is in a safe place with people you trust. And, ultimately, your child’s safety is more important than a first-time sleepover.
If you are worried your child will feel scared during the sleepover, consider offering a test run at home. Your child can experience the fun of a sleepover while still being with you.
You can also practice with them sleeping at a family member’s house, like a grandparent’s or a cousin’s, to see how they fare sleeping away from you while still in a familiar environment with guardians you trust.
Tips for Making Your Child’s First Sleepover a Success
As you decide how to ease your child into a sleepover, or stress over whether it is the right decision, some strategies can help make the transition smoother, soothe your mind and your child’s and ensure their safety.
Therapists and child safety experts recommend allowing your child to only sleep over at a friend’s house whose parents you closely know.
Trust your gut — if you don’t feel comfortable with a certain family member, sibling or even friend, it is most likely best not to allow them to sleep over for the first time. If you know all the members of the household well, you will feel more comfortable sleeping at night knowing your child is in a safe place with people you trust. And, ultimately, your child’s safety is more important than a first-time sleepover.
If you worry your child will feel scared during the sleepover, set up a test run at home. Your child can experience the fun of a sleepover while still being with you.
You can also practice with them sleeping at a family member’s house, like a grandparent’s or a cousin’s, to see how they fare sleeping away from you while still in a familiar environment with trusted guardians.
Safety Tips:
- Provide your child with a phone if they do not already have one. This could be your partner’s phone or an inexpensive flip phone from the store. Teach your child how to call you on it and 911. This can ease your mind and ensure they have a way to reach you in an emergency.
- Give them a code word. According to an article from Parenting Place, tell them that when calling you during a sleepover, instead of saying “I want to come home,” they can say, “I forgot to turn the television off!” This can prevent them from staying in an uncomfortable environment because they are embarrassed to leave.
- Communicate with your child about what a sleepover is like and what they can do during it. If they want to come home, they can. What do they do if they want to come home? What do they say?
- Remain awake and nearby. The reality of your child’s first sleepover is that they might, in fact, call you at 2 a.m. to pick them up. Ensure you are nearby and able to do so, and make sure your phone notifications are on.
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