The average 4- to 6-year-old laughs about 300 times a day, according to Psychology Today. This belly laugher is often what we look forward to most in the day — our main goal is to make a smile flash across their face.
Research shows that humor can also help to reduce meltdowns in your toddler, helping them to resort to laughter instead of tears or anger when faced with an issue or frustrating situation.
What Does It Mean When Your Child Laughs?
When we see a baby or toddler laugh, we often assume it is because they find our behavior amusing or are simply filled with joy at that moment. Although this can be the case, science shows that children’s laughter is associated with specific cognitive, social and communicative processes that are monumental in their development.
Dr. Krystal Bittar, a pediatrician at UF Health Pediatrics and a clinical psychologist licensed in Florida with more than 10 years of experience, said that in children ages 4 to 6, laughter can be a regulatory or communicative response to a range of emotions, sensory experiences and social situations.
“Children may laugh in response to anxiety, emotional overload, sensory stimulation or uncertainty, as laughter can function as a self-regulation strategy or a way to manage arousal when internal states feel overwhelming,” she said.
This means a child might frequently laugh during stressful, nerve-racking, embarrassing or confusing situations even if they are not necessarily amused or joyful.
Laughter at ages 4 to 6 is also considered a partly learned behavior, meaning children during this developmental stage will most likely mirror the laughter they witness around them — from friends, parents and caregivers — during various emotional situations.
“If caregivers frequently laugh when anxious, during conflict, when embarrassed or overwhelmed, then children may learn that laughter is an acceptable or effective way to manage emotional arousal,” Dr. Bittar said.
Reasons a Toddler Might Laugh
Your child’s age can affect the topics or actions that lead to amusement or laughter. According to We Are Family, a child aged 3 to 5 will find nonsense or unexpected things humorous, meaning they will begin to play with words, rename items or people or distort objects.
When attempting to find ways to make them laugh, consider pretending that their food is an out-of-the-ordinary item like a spaceship, or create nicknames to replace the titles of around-the-house objects.
By age 6, children begin to gain a stronger grasp of humor, understanding what exactly is funny and when to laugh. According to Optimist Daily, this is a form of cognitive development and allows them to learn how to point out inconsistencies, feel surprise and solve certain situations with laughter. This means that to spark laughter, consider making knock-knock jokes with punchlines or playing harmless pranks, according to We Are Family.
Laughter can also be a social tool, serving as a learned social-communication behavior to “support belonging” and a way for children aged 4 to 6 to seek attention and fit in with their peers, Dr. Bittar said.
Using Humor as a Tool to Ease Meltdowns
Research and online parental feedback show that humor can be used to comfort your child during stressful situations or to prevent further intensification of a meltdown.
According to an article from Nurtured First, laughing and playfulness can work as a distraction, helping to “shift” your child’s attention. For example, if your child starts a tantrum because they do not want to go to bed, consider asking them to demonstrate their best fake snores or a slow-motion walk into bed. As described in the article, this is a wonderful way to use playfulness to send the situation in a different direction.
Humor can also teach your child to laugh at themselves when they make a mistake rather than to feel embarrassed or frustrated. For instance, if your child accidentally knocks something over or spills their food, laugh with them before cleaning it up together.
Fear, pain and frustration activate the sympathetic nervous system, which leads to an increased heart rate, muscle tension and stress hormones. Laughter can counteract this process and lead to slower breathing, reduced muscle tension and endorphin release, Dr. Bittar said.
“Meltdowns often escalate because the child’s nervous system becomes ‘stuck’ in a high-arousal loop,” she said. “Laughter can act as a pattern interrupter, briefly redirecting attention and altering emotional momentum.”
Dr. Bittar also explained how, during behavior therapy, parents are often taught to help “distract” or “redirect” children during these meltdowns — including using laughter to prevent a meltdown or redirect a child before they escalate.
Some treatments also coach parents on using laughter to show joy, helping to model appropriate emotional responses to their children, she said.
“For example, if something sad is happening in the family context, parents are encouraged [to] use statements labeling the feeling as a way of teaching children emotional expression and emotional literacy,” Dr. Bittar said.
Laughter and humor can play a significant role in calming down your toddlers and helping them understand how to regulate their emotions, bond with caregivers and create social connections. The next time you visit the pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional, consider asking them about forms of play therapy or laughter-based behavior therapies.