Birthdays, first words, first steps, first days of school — these and others like them are the milestones that often define our children, in their sense of accomplishment and their progression in development. But recently, parents have been embracing a different way to celebrate their children — inchstones. Rather than celebrating only larger moments in their child’s life, they are choosing to celebrate smaller moments, which might just be the best parenting style of the future.
Where Did Inchstones Start?
According to HuffPost, the concept of inchstones may have originated in the functional needs community. Children with functional needs may take longer to reach milestones set by typical developmental timelines. It may often take much more effort. Celebrating inchstones helps parents feel joy in the accomplishments of their children. It also gives their children a sense of self-empowerment and motivation to succeed.
Benefits of Celebrating Inchstones
In both the functional needs community and the typically developing community, inchstones are meant to feel joy in the small moments with your children and foster a deeper connection with them. According to the BBC, inchstones are about “mindfulness and how important it is to be present and enjoy each little step.” For parents and children alike, developmental setbacks can often be frustrating. Inchstones give families a way to feel like their efforts matter. This way, if setbacks should occur, feelings of disappointment or frustration are lessened by the joy gained from sharing in the little things.
Why You Should Be Cautious
While celebrating inchstones can be a great bonding experience for parents and children, it needs to be done carefully to prevent negative effects, according to HuffPost. In a HuffPost interview, parent educator Kristene Geering said, “There’s a reason celebrations feel special — it’s because they don’t happen every day.” Going overboard with celebrating inchstones can cause your children to feel less motivated to try new or difficult things. This is because everything they do is celebrated no matter the size of the event.
Julie Romanowski, a parenting coach and consultant, says, “We want to acknowledge — not necessarily celebrate and throw a party,” according to CBC News. When your child reaches an inchstone, having a large-scale event with cake and balloons isn’t the goal. Instead, take time to enjoy the moment, hug your child and let them know how proud or happy you feel. Inchstones are opportunities to communicate to your child that you see, understand, appreciate and love them, no matter their accomplishments.
Inchstones to Celebrate
- Braving the slide or swings at the playground
- Pointing and recognizing the names of animals, objects, people, etc.
- Being interested in other children playing or doing other activities
- Asking questions
- Asking for specific items or people by name
- Following two-step directions
- Potty training
- Learning to share
- Feeling, understanding and responding to complex emotions
- Expressing empathy for others
Whatever the moment, an inchstone or a milestone, the most important thing to remember is that your children are experiencing things for the first time. They won’t always succeed or get things right. But what matters is that they keep trying. Recognizing your child’s inchstones helps them to know their efforts matter. It also gives you a chance to appreciate the fleeting moments that disappear much too soon. Celebrating inchstones helps keep the memories of the long days close to your heart for when the years seem much too short.
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